St. James' Episcopal Church Skaneateles, NY

Weddings at St. James'

One of the great decisions of life is marriage. Great joy and fulfillment for individuals can come in experiencing the sacrament of Holy Matrimony day by day, year by year, for a lifetime. Marriage, however, can also be a great source of pain when it does not work out. For these reasons, we are deeply involved in the lives and preparation of couples about to commit themselves to one another and to God in this sacrament.

It is assumed that couples seeking to be married at St. James' Church are, or are planning to become, actively involved in the life of this congregation. It is very important for us to have an ongoing relationship with those who invite us to become part of their lives by having their wedding at St. James'.

For that reason, regular worship attendance is the first step in the marriage preparation process. On occasion, when the couple lives in another area or when a particular circumstance requires it, special arrangements can be made to have the wedding at St. James' Church. In any case, current involvement in some Christian congregation is essential.

Once the couple has become familiar enough with St. James' Church to know that this is where they wish to make their church home, a meeting can be arranged between the couple and one of the parish clergy.

It is vital for us to discuss a variety of issues, including the simple details of the service, the Christian understanding of marriage, and the practical issues of taking two lives and histories and putting them together under one roof.

We require several sessions, the number to be determined by the priest performing the ceremony. These include time with the member of the clergy who will be officiating at the wedding and, if deemed helpful, meetings with a professional marriage counselor approved by the clergy

When one or both of the individuals intending to be married have been in a prior marriage which ended in divorce, Episcopal Church guidelines require the officiating priest to obtain permission from the Bishop before performing the wedding.

In such a situation it is assumed that at least one member of the couple is a current active member of the Episcopal Church, though, on occasion, there may be pastoral reasons to marry people neither of whom are members of this community of faith. Circumventing the procedures of one’s own community of faith is not such a reason. The Episcopal procedure regarding re-marriage is intended to promote the strength of the new marriage by being honest about the failure of the past marriage

It is important to note in considering a wedding at St. James' that because the Celebration and Blessing of Marriage (beginning on page 423 of The Book of Common Prayer) is a worship service, we follow certain guidelines concerning what music, readings, decorations and modifications to the Prayer Book service are appropriate.

Preparing for a marriage is a great opportunity for people to re-evaluate the direction of their lives. It is a time for new beginnings. It is a chance to consider afresh the place of the Christian faith in an individual’s life, in a couple’s relationship and how that faith will affect the practical matters of married life in their home and beyond. Our process seeks to encourage all of that

We ask couples not to anticipate a wedding date less than six months after their initial meeting with a member of the parish clergy. This is important so that there is sufficient time to prepare for the wedding and, more importantly, to prepare for the marriage relationship that will begin with the wedding. In any event, no wedding date can be fixed on the church calendar without the express consent of the officiating clergy.

If you are interested in participating in this process, please plan to worship with us for at least several months or within your own community of faith, then contact our Parish Manager, Beth, through the parish office at (315) 685-7600.

St. James' Wedding Fees (Organist, Altar Guild, Sexton, Clergy, Ministries)

You will see there are different fees for members and non-members. This is because our members are already contributing to this parish and the ministries of St. James'.

Fees cover the services of our organist, clergy, altar guild, acolytes and sexton.

For Members of St. James' Church:

$450

For active members in good standing in another Episcopal Church:

$1500 (requires a letter stating membership in good standing) *

For active members in good standing in a Christian Church:

$2000 (requires a letter stating membership in good standing) *

Please remit total payment to the Parish Office prior to your rehearsal date. Please make checks payable to St. James' Episcopal Church.

* You will note that participation in a Christian church is required to be married at St. James'. We believe that a successful marriage depends upon involvement in a Christian community of faith. If you are not currently participating in a faith community, we believe the first step in preparation for a healthy marriage is to join and be part of a church. We would joyfully welcome your participation with us here at St. James'.

Marriage Checklist

At least 6 months prior to the wedding date:

• Schedule a meeting with our wedding coordinator and a member of our clergy through the church office. At this time, you will receive an additional checklist of things to accomplish before the wedding date. Our wedding coordinator is here to help guide you through the process.
• If you are a member of another church, please have your Rector or Pastor contact our  Assistant Rector, Toppie Bates. A letter stating that you are a member in good standing at your church will be requested.
• pre-marriage counseling with a member of our clergy. If you are a member of another church, such counseling may take place with your own clergy. Generally, five to six sessions are required and they must be completed two months prior to the wedding date. The goal of such counseling is to strengthen the couple’s relationship.

At least 3 months prior to the wedding:

• Contact our organist, Bruce Osborne, through the church office. Selecting music for a wedding is an important process and we request that such music be consistent with Christian values and that it make references to God. We consider both traditional and contemporary music to be appropriate. A wedding ceremony is inherently a service of worship and thanksgiving. Secular and sentimental music is best reserved for the wedding reception following the wedding.
• Review any soloists or additional musicians with our organist.

At least 1 month prior to the wedding:

• Obtain New York State marriage license.

Other Things to Keep in Mind

• Photography of different kinds is allowed, but such filming must not interfere with the service or include flash photography.
• We request that the florist used for the wedding use our floral containers. We can assist you with selecting a florist.
• Our worship space will be kept intact for a wedding ceremony. Moving furnishings within the church is discouraged.
• Bird seed, flower petals, and other acts of celebration are allowed outside of the church doors. Rice is not permitted.
• As you move through the period of preparation, we commit to continual prayers on your behalf.

---